If divorce strikes

There's no way to sugarcoat it: Divorce happens. If your marriage is coming to an end, make sure that your personal financial security doesn't go with it. Of course, your best protection is a prenuptial agreement. It used to be a tool of only the rich and famous but has become increasingly common and is now often recommended for everyday folks, says financial author Lynnette Khalfani-Cox.

If it is too late for a prenup, your best move is to be realistic. Most couples know when their marriage is in serious trouble. That is the time to act, experts say. If all of the financial accounts are in your spouse's name, start establishing your own credit history by opening bank and credit accounts in your name only. It will be harder to build your own credit after a divorce.

It's also important to get copies of all the critical financial documents, including bank statements, tax returns, papers from any mortgage refinancing, and insurance policies. Keep those copies in a secure place where your spouse cannot take them. Try to determine the full value of your family's assets, including pensions and retirement accounts.

Create a realistic monthly budget for yourself as a single-income household

Include any expenses that were previously covered by your spouse, such as health, car, home, or life insurance premiums, since those might now need to be part of your monthly budget. Also consider consulting a financial planner if you need help.

Once you've decided to get a divorce, immediately close all joint accounts

You might also want to ask the three major credit bureaus to put a credit freeze on your accounts. That prevents anyone who obtains your Social Security number or other personal information from opening accounts in your name, and that includes a disgruntled spouse. The downside is that a freeze also includes you, which can be a huge inconvenience if you need prospective lenders, employers, or landlords to access your credit record. In some states, freezes can be lifted in as little as 15 minutes or in a few days, but you might have to pay a fee.

If you have been the financially uninformed spouse and don't have much of a credit history in your own name yet, you'll want to continue to build one. For example, if you are still in the marital home, it might be wise to start putting the household bills in your name.

This is also the time to review all of the beneficiary designations on your life insurance policies, bank accounts, and retirement funds to remove your spouse and designate one or more new beneficiaries. Do the same with your will and any other estate-planning documents.

Though divorce can be one of the most emotionally charged experiences of your life, you should try to be objective and dispassionate in your financial decisions. Remember that the smartest financial moves might not feel so great emotionally. For example, if you love your house but could not afford it on your own, the most prudent thing would be for you and your spouse to sell it and divide the proceeds.

Remember, too, that while expensive legal fees might be hard to avoid (Consumer Reports estimates that a contested divorce can cost $49,000 to $188,000), you can minimize them if you're able to reach a mutual understanding on the biggest emotional issues—such as child custody—before the lawyers (and their billable hours) get involved. If you need more incentive to keep things civil, consider that low-conflict divorces can often be mediated for about 75 percent less than the cost of hiring attorneys and going to trial.