December 2006
Romance.com
CR’s guide to online dating sites
Whether the outcome is wedding bells or dates from hell, Internet dating is big business. It raked in an estimated $551 million
this year, according to JupiterResearch. And it isn’t just for 20-somethings: Fifty-five percent of subscribers to dating
Web sites are at least 35 years old.
For our own study of the world of Internet dating, we asked an unmarried staff member to subscribe for one month to five of the biggest and best-known sites: AmericanSingles, eHarmony, Match.com, True, and Yahoo Personals.
She set up a conservative profile (being truthful and avoiding declarations apt to attract the wacky), registered, then used the sites as you would. All the while, she kept an eye out for “gotchas.” We also asked the director of Consumer Reports WebWatch, which investigates Internet credibility, to assess each site’s privacy policy. And we asked visitors to ConsumerReports.org to share their online dating experiences.
Did the course of love run true? Not exactly. Here’s what we found:
The dating game
Whatever the site, you start by answering questions about yourself and your potential mate, checking boxes to indicate a wide range of preferences: smoking and drinking habits, ethnicity, hobbies, religion, hair color, even TV viewing habits. All sites add a space where you can describe yourself and the person you seek.
Payment. You can peek into each site before opening your wallet. All of them offer advice--what to post in a profile, tips about online dating safety--that is free to anyone. All but eHarmony let nonsubscribers set up a profile and browse others. After you answer 436 questions, eHarmony lets you see introductory information about matches at no charge. What you gain by paying is the ability to communicate fully with other subscribers.
Subscription packages involve different lengths of time, services, and prices. For a single month, prices range from about $25 at Yahoo Personals to $60 at eHarmony. If you look for love longer than that, the monthly charge goes down, but you’ll make one big payment to start. eHarmony, for example, lists its six-month subscription at $28.95 per month, but the total, $173.70, is required when you’re ready to communicate with matches.
Matching. eHarmony, True, and Yahoo Personals offer a compatibility test, which they use to try to pair members based on far more than likes and dislikes. Reps from these sites told us their tests are proprietary and are processed by a computer.
The tests are optional at True and Yahoo Personals and required at eHarmony. Our reporter tried those offered at eHarmony and True, and each took her at least an hour to complete. They asked about things such as “level of sexual experience” and how much a partner’s unwillingness to compromise “bugs you” (True) and how “quarrelsome” you are and how often you “feel plotted against” (eHarmony).
Filling out the form doesn’t guarantee membership in eHarmony. “About 16 percent of potential users are told very early on in the process that we’ve chosen not to provide the service rather than risk an uncertain match,” said Lou Casale, vice president of corporate communications. When asked about grounds for rejection, Casale told us that an “age screen” eliminates applicants under 21 and a “lie scale” culls those who don’t answer questions honestly. There are other reasons for rejection, he said, but he declined to reveal them.
Once you’re in, eHarmony, alone, restricts communication, letting you see profiles of and exchange e-mails with only the people it has chosen for you. (That eliminates scanning through singles who may not be right for you, Casale told us.) True and Yahoo Personals let you search independently but will also match you for compatibility with other members who have taken their test.
AmericanSingles and Match.com provide matches based on your listed preferences, which you can tweak. One preference could be for someone with a Ph.D., but you could broaden it to receive more matches. Just as you can contact any subscriber who attracts you, the same is true for others: Your profile may describe an ideal date as funny and athletic, but if it appeals to someone glum and klutzy, you’re fair game to be contacted.
In one month, our reporter received more than 200 e-mails from the five sites. On the busiest days, she had more than 20 new messages from potential suitors; on the slowest, only a few. AmericanSingles, Match.com, and True will let you see how many people have viewed your profile.
Gripes. Some respondents to our online questionnaire reported a good experience, but others had typical singles-scene laments: Men wanted only a physical relationship, women weren’t intellectually compatible, everyone wants a millionaire, matches didn’t meet my criteria.
Our reporter had a few complaints of her own. Although she asked for a man within five years of her age, she got a “wink” (see Lingo of love) from a Match.com member more than 20 years her senior, whose profile described his favorite oily massage. Once, she looked for her latest matches at AmericanSingles and found two with different ages, user names, and profiles but the same photo.
Where your info goes. The quality of privacy policies published on the sites varied. eHarmony, True, and Yahoo Personals were more clearly written than the others.
Most sites have disclaimers, though they differ. The one from AmericanSingles is particularly blunt: The site does “not promise, and you should not expect, that your personally identifiable information or private communications will always remain private.” When asked for an interpretation, Gail Laguna, a spokeswoman for AmericanSingles, told us the company “does not sell its members’ personally identifiable information.”
Nevertheless, you may end up having a relationship with a site’s partners or advertisers. Match.com, for instance, states that it may share your personal information with other companies whose names are displayed on the site. “Cobranded companies,” Match.com’s privacy policy says, “may use your personal information in accordance with their own privacy policies.” The site adds that it has no control over third-party policies, “and you agree that we are not responsible or liable for any of their actions or omissions.”
True has been certified for privacy and security protection by more than one independent group. And it’s the only site that checks for criminals and married applicants. All sites screen submitted profiles and photos for inappropriate content.
All of the sites let you block e-mail from certain members or report bad behavior, either by visiting the site or by e-mailing or calling customer service.
Splitsville. All five sites renew your subscription automatically unless you cancel directly. You must call Match.com and True, but AmericanSingles, eHarmony, and Yahoo Personals can be canceled online. If you cancel before the end of your paid term, most sites don’t grantrefunds. eHarmony offers a seven-day trial period; Yahoo Personals has a three-day trial period.
If you cancel your subscription, your profile could remain active and viewable to all members and visitors until you notify customer service to remove it permanently.
cr quick recommendations
“Date” each site before making a commitment. Use its freebies, and read the privacy policy and terms of service. Don’t enter a credit-card number until you know exactly what you’ll be charged.
Create a separate e-mail account to house your dating mail (easy and free at www.google.com/mail, www.hotmail.com, and www.yahoo.com), which can help protect your identity and let you manage messages. And go to the site to opt out of its e-mail list. Otherwise, everything from ads to account information can end up in your personal Inbox.
If Internet dating gives you pause, try True, whose screening of members and customer-friendly privacy policy make it especially reassuring.
If you favor matches closer to hand-picked, eHarmony is a good bet.
For the basics, try Match.com or Yahoo Personals, which have a simple, well-organized setup.
CR’s guide to online dating sites
Illustration by Leo Espinosa
For our own study of the world of Internet dating, we asked an unmarried staff member to subscribe for one month to five of the biggest and best-known sites: AmericanSingles, eHarmony, Match.com, True, and Yahoo Personals.
She set up a conservative profile (being truthful and avoiding declarations apt to attract the wacky), registered, then used the sites as you would. All the while, she kept an eye out for “gotchas.” We also asked the director of Consumer Reports WebWatch, which investigates Internet credibility, to assess each site’s privacy policy. And we asked visitors to ConsumerReports.org to share their online dating experiences.
Did the course of love run true? Not exactly. Here’s what we found:
- Only True states that it checks the background of applicants at registration, screening information against a criminal database
and public marriage records.
- Some sites are clearer than others about how they keep personally identifiable, potentially embarrassing information private.
- At eHarmony, you can be deemed unmatchable--and rejected.
- “Matching” differs. Some sites make you browse profiles on your own; others let you take tests so that they can tell you about
people who share your interests and more meaningful concerns.
- Want to break up with a site? It could be hard. Your profile could be viewable, and you might receive e-mail, long after your subscription has expired.
The dating game
Whatever the site, you start by answering questions about yourself and your potential mate, checking boxes to indicate a wide range of preferences: smoking and drinking habits, ethnicity, hobbies, religion, hair color, even TV viewing habits. All sites add a space where you can describe yourself and the person you seek.
Payment. You can peek into each site before opening your wallet. All of them offer advice--what to post in a profile, tips about online dating safety--that is free to anyone. All but eHarmony let nonsubscribers set up a profile and browse others. After you answer 436 questions, eHarmony lets you see introductory information about matches at no charge. What you gain by paying is the ability to communicate fully with other subscribers.
Subscription packages involve different lengths of time, services, and prices. For a single month, prices range from about $25 at Yahoo Personals to $60 at eHarmony. If you look for love longer than that, the monthly charge goes down, but you’ll make one big payment to start. eHarmony, for example, lists its six-month subscription at $28.95 per month, but the total, $173.70, is required when you’re ready to communicate with matches.
Matching. eHarmony, True, and Yahoo Personals offer a compatibility test, which they use to try to pair members based on far more than likes and dislikes. Reps from these sites told us their tests are proprietary and are processed by a computer.
The tests are optional at True and Yahoo Personals and required at eHarmony. Our reporter tried those offered at eHarmony and True, and each took her at least an hour to complete. They asked about things such as “level of sexual experience” and how much a partner’s unwillingness to compromise “bugs you” (True) and how “quarrelsome” you are and how often you “feel plotted against” (eHarmony).
Filling out the form doesn’t guarantee membership in eHarmony. “About 16 percent of potential users are told very early on in the process that we’ve chosen not to provide the service rather than risk an uncertain match,” said Lou Casale, vice president of corporate communications. When asked about grounds for rejection, Casale told us that an “age screen” eliminates applicants under 21 and a “lie scale” culls those who don’t answer questions honestly. There are other reasons for rejection, he said, but he declined to reveal them.
Once you’re in, eHarmony, alone, restricts communication, letting you see profiles of and exchange e-mails with only the people it has chosen for you. (That eliminates scanning through singles who may not be right for you, Casale told us.) True and Yahoo Personals let you search independently but will also match you for compatibility with other members who have taken their test.
AmericanSingles and Match.com provide matches based on your listed preferences, which you can tweak. One preference could be for someone with a Ph.D., but you could broaden it to receive more matches. Just as you can contact any subscriber who attracts you, the same is true for others: Your profile may describe an ideal date as funny and athletic, but if it appeals to someone glum and klutzy, you’re fair game to be contacted.
In one month, our reporter received more than 200 e-mails from the five sites. On the busiest days, she had more than 20 new messages from potential suitors; on the slowest, only a few. AmericanSingles, Match.com, and True will let you see how many people have viewed your profile.
Gripes. Some respondents to our online questionnaire reported a good experience, but others had typical singles-scene laments: Men wanted only a physical relationship, women weren’t intellectually compatible, everyone wants a millionaire, matches didn’t meet my criteria.
Our reporter had a few complaints of her own. Although she asked for a man within five years of her age, she got a “wink” (see Lingo of love) from a Match.com member more than 20 years her senior, whose profile described his favorite oily massage. Once, she looked for her latest matches at AmericanSingles and found two with different ages, user names, and profiles but the same photo.
Where your info goes. The quality of privacy policies published on the sites varied. eHarmony, True, and Yahoo Personals were more clearly written than the others.
Most sites have disclaimers, though they differ. The one from AmericanSingles is particularly blunt: The site does “not promise, and you should not expect, that your personally identifiable information or private communications will always remain private.” When asked for an interpretation, Gail Laguna, a spokeswoman for AmericanSingles, told us the company “does not sell its members’ personally identifiable information.”
Nevertheless, you may end up having a relationship with a site’s partners or advertisers. Match.com, for instance, states that it may share your personal information with other companies whose names are displayed on the site. “Cobranded companies,” Match.com’s privacy policy says, “may use your personal information in accordance with their own privacy policies.” The site adds that it has no control over third-party policies, “and you agree that we are not responsible or liable for any of their actions or omissions.”
True has been certified for privacy and security protection by more than one independent group. And it’s the only site that checks for criminals and married applicants. All sites screen submitted profiles and photos for inappropriate content.
All of the sites let you block e-mail from certain members or report bad behavior, either by visiting the site or by e-mailing or calling customer service.
Splitsville. All five sites renew your subscription automatically unless you cancel directly. You must call Match.com and True, but AmericanSingles, eHarmony, and Yahoo Personals can be canceled online. If you cancel before the end of your paid term, most sites don’t grantrefunds. eHarmony offers a seven-day trial period; Yahoo Personals has a three-day trial period.
If you cancel your subscription, your profile could remain active and viewable to all members and visitors until you notify customer service to remove it permanently.
cr quick recommendations
“Date” each site before making a commitment. Use its freebies, and read the privacy policy and terms of service. Don’t enter a credit-card number until you know exactly what you’ll be charged.
Create a separate e-mail account to house your dating mail (easy and free at www.google.com/mail, www.hotmail.com, and www.yahoo.com), which can help protect your identity and let you manage messages. And go to the site to opt out of its e-mail list. Otherwise, everything from ads to account information can end up in your personal Inbox.
If Internet dating gives you pause, try True, whose screening of members and customer-friendly privacy policy make it especially reassuring.
If you favor matches closer to hand-picked, eHarmony is a good bet.
For the basics, try Match.com or Yahoo Personals, which have a simple, well-organized setup.
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THE LINGO OF LOVE |
