This month we're celebrating turns of phrase that have left us scratching our head here. There's the houseboat that was described as a "great pied-a-terre," the contact-lens solution that tells wearers who feel discomfort to "remove contacts and your eye-care professional," the pruner whose "steel blade quickly and cleanly cuts through branches and small lambs," and the bathtub with "anti-scold chrome faucets." Just think: hardware that doesn't nag as you shower. Here are other winners we've found.

If you feel like a nut

Let 'em see you sweat

For a spooky alarm clock

Is it in the same aisle as tortoise-shell combs?

For a plumber who causes leaks?

For critical gear

Green greens