Crystal clear

When we asked a 3M customer-service rep about this discrepancy, she told us the boast applied to a regular scrubbing head and the caution on back to a heavy-duty head like the one in our package. “You wouldn’t want to use that particular head on glassware,” she said. (Find the best dishwashing liquids.)

Try them with whiskey-sour-cream dip

We were amused to learn that a company has made the potato chip even more, um, nutritious, by covering it in salt and sugar and adding a “major dose of the world’s most perfect beverage.” That would be beer. “It’s a party in your mouth!” the PR agent promised.

Next, Body Odor Boy


When we saw Headlice Hero, left (for services selling “instant relief for headlice”), we had to wonder how he’d fare against Mucus Maximus, right (for Mucinex). It looks to us like Mr. Maximus in one round.

Seeing isn’t believing

This envelope of “important travel documents” held a “boarding voucher,” a “passenger and baggage check” with a Group 1 boarding designation, even the warning “do not write or mark in the white area above.” Give yourself points if you guessed it was a time-share pitch.

What’s in a name?

But that parking lot has a heckuva view.

Spare or splat?

OK, but don’t be surprised if the alley gets covered in watermelon seeds.