Fertility problems - How infertility can make you feel

Fertility problems

How infertility can make you feel

Being unable to have a baby when you want to can be upsetting for you and your partner.

You may feel disappointed, depressed and a failure.
It won't help if people you know seem to be getting pregnant without any trouble at all.
Parents who say they "long to be a grandparent" may make you feel worse.
Friends may not know what to say, especially if they have all the children they want.
Advances in medical treatments can help - but if they don't work they can make you feel even worse.

The strains of treatment

Treatments can be a strain, especially for the woman. The strain may be caused by:

Repeated visits to the clinic
Having to have sex at the right time
Waiting for pregnancy test results
Financial issues.

Women may feel:

Source:
Whiteford LM, Gonzalez L.
Stigma: the hidden burden of infertility.
Social Science & Medicine. 1995; 40: 27-36.

Embarrassed and inadequate
Humiliated
Powerless
Losing sight of any meaning in life other than having a child.

The strain on your relationship

Not being able to have a baby can come between you and your partner. Men often cope by keeping their pain to themselves while women may want to talk about it. You may feel upset or betrayed by the way your partner deals with the problem.

Source:
Mahlstedt PP.
Psychological issues of infertility and assisted reproductive technology.
Urologic Clinics of North America. 1994; 21: 557-566.

Sometimes one partner feels frustrated or angry with the other's seeming lack of interest. You may feel bad not only about your infertility, but also because you no longer feel so close to your partner.

You can get help

It might help to talk about these feelings with a specially trained infertility counselor.

See infertility counseling to find out more.

Sources for the information on this page:

Whiteford LM, Gonzalez L.Stigma: the hidden burden of infertility.Social Science & Medicine. 1995; 40: 27-36.

Mahlstedt PP.Psychological issues of infertility and assisted reproductive technology.Urologic Clinics of North America. 1994; 21: 557-566.

This information was last updated on Mar 06, 2009

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