'Why Does My Baby Fight Sleep?' and Related FAQs Answered
The baby sleep struggle is real. Here are expert tips, including how to put your little one to sleep in 40 seconds—hopefully, maybe, possibly.
When I think of baby sleep, I think of a certain picture I have stuck to my fridge: My husband is holding my infant son—age 3 months at the time—on his chest. My son is wrapped in a burp cloth. The clock reads 11:37 p.m. and the baby is wide awake with that determined face that only a sleepless infant can make. My husband looks absolutely miserable.
In the early days of the newborn haze with both of my children, I often wondered whether I would get a good night’s sleep ever again. At times, I became so desperate that I would shout-sing at my children: “You are sleeping! I am sleeping! We are ALL SLEEPING!” What I wouldn’t have given for just one gloriously unbroken 12-hour night of sleep during those early days.
Why Do Babies Fight Sleep?
Even past 6 months of age, it is normal for a child to wake up in the night and then eventually fall back asleep. Meghan Burke, MD, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and author of “Is That Normal? A Pediatrician’s Guide for Parents of Newborns” (BookBaby, 2024), says the sleep fight is still a mystery to her, but “during growth spurts and developmental leaps, sleep can regress and [children may] again wake frequently.”
Some babies simply want to be held and will wake up when you put them down. Sleep interruptions can also occur with changes in routine or schedule, or when an infant is sick with a stuffy nose or cough.
“The good news is that most regressions are short-lived,” says Monica Wonnacott, MD, a pediatrician who works in private practice in Riverton, Utah. Sleep regressions can last a handful of weeks, and often a caregiver’s best course of action is to stay consistent with sleep routines. (In other words: It’s best to wait it out!)
Scott also says that babies can fight sleep when they are overtired, overstimulated, or not tired enough.
What Are the Best Ways to Help Baby Sleep Through the Night?
Most newborns sleep between 16 and 18 hours per day, says Wonnacott. “It is very normal for a baby to only sleep a cycle or two before waking.”
Getting more sleep relies on teaching your child to link multiple sleep cycles together. While some babies may link these cycles together on their own, most experts recommend sleep training at around 4 months old, when most babies do not need to be fed throughout the night, as they did during the first few months. Scott says that an infant is ready to be sleep trained when they have been gaining weight well and have enough fat and glycogen stores to sustain themselves for 4 hours or more between feedings. Again, you’ll want to consult with your child’s pediatrician about your unique child’s situation.
Wonnacott believes that “there is no singular ‘right’ way to sleep train.” Parents should choose methods based on the infant’s temperament and their own style of parenting.
One option that may help your child connect sleep cycles is what’s called “graduated extinction.” It involves waiting 5 to 10 minutes after your child starts to fuss before soothing them, to give them a chance to fall back asleep on their own. “This pattern can be repeated at lengthening intervals,” says Scott.
Others may opt for the so-called cry-it-out method to teach their baby how to self-soothe, which involves letting the child cry instead of going in to soothe them when they wake. Other parents may want to go in and reassure the child every few minutes, rather than waiting longer.
“Sleep training is harder on the parents than it is the baby,” says Burke. “Largely because it’s hard to let your baby cry. But it’s okay: Your baby is not suffering!”
“Both can get you to the same end goal of everyone sleeping through the night,” says Wonnacott. “The key is sleep routine and consistency.”
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No matter which method of sleep training you choose, Scott recommends teaching your child how to self-soothe as early as you can. “Put your baby in their crib before they are fast asleep in your arms,” she says, recommending that the baby is drowsy but not fully asleep, to allow them to fuss and settle themselves. This may work better for some children than others, and may only be possible as your child ages. My daughter took well to the graduated extinction method and was able to fall asleep in her crib alone from an early age. My son? Not so much.
Wonnacott also says that some newborns will have their days and nights mixed up, especially immediately after birth. If this is your child, try to keep the room dark at night and make daytime playtime with lights on and noises. Keep your baby calm and quiet while changing and feeding them at night, and establish a bedtime routine that shows the child it is time for sleep. While “bedtime routine” sounds complex, it can be as simple as dimming the lights, putting your child in soft pajamas, and humming a song before you put them into their crib.
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How Should You Dress Baby for Sleep?
Newborns may not be able to regulate their own body temperature for the first one to two months of life, so you can dress your baby how you would be comfortable in the current environment, with an extra thin layer. Burke says you can swaddle your child if they like it, but make sure to stop using a swaddle once your baby rolls over.
According to the AAP, “overheating” can occur differently in different situations. To keep your child at a good temperature for sleeping, the AAP recommends that caregivers “dress infants appropriately for the environment, with no greater than one layer more than an adult would wear to be comfortable in that environment.” On warm days, check your child for signs of overheating, such as flushed skin, rapid heartbeat, a sweaty neck, or damp hair.
How Can You Get Your Baby to Fall Asleep in 40 Seconds?
Scott says that every baby is different; many will not be able to fall asleep this quickly. But she recommends trying the following:
- Swaddle the baby snuggly or use a sleep sack.
- Rock your baby while holding them against your body.
- Add background noise (via a sound machine or fan).
- Stroke their skin gently over their forehead or eyebrows until their eyes close.
- Use a pacifier (sucking is self-soothing for infants).
- Avoid using blue light in their room.
- Expose them to natural light during the day to establish a circadian rhythm.
Can Babies Sleep on Their Stomach?
Babies should sleep on their backs to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), per the AAP. However, if they roll over onto their stomach themselves (which usually happens at around 6 months), you can leave them there.
Is Fast Breathing During Sleep Normal?
This type of fast breathing is called “periodic breathing” and is considered normal, especially during deep sleep, according to the National Institutes of Health. A newborn can stop breathing for up to 10 seconds, followed by shallow and fast breathing. This is not cause for concern, Wonnacott says, and it is most commonly seen in babies during their first two to four weeks of life. It typically fades by the time a child is 6 months old.
