GPS navigation celebrity voices: You talkin' to me?

Everywhere you turn, someone is telling you where to go--your boss, your mother, spouse, or kids. And these days, an increasing number of drivers are being told where to go by their portable GPS navigation system. As the novelty of the from-the-factory generic voice wears thin, the electronic navigator can be upgraded to a voice with a bit more personality, like John Cleese's, for example.

TomTom offers a variety of choices for their portable navigation systems. Downloads of various men and women of different nationalities and personalities are available, and you can listen to a sample before you decide. (Choices depend on your country of origin.)

Downloadable options include a grandmotherly-sounding voice, or one billed as "The Don." As in, according to the Web site: "He's about to make you an offer you can't refuse and take you for a ride." All righty, then. Either The Don or Granny can be yours for $5.95, as can a voice described as being that of a New York cabbie. Frankly, I'm not too sure about that one. I was born in New York, and that guy sounds about as much like a New York cabbie to me as does Sharon Den Adel, the soprano siren behind heavy-metal Dutch export Within Temptation. But TomTom is based in the Netherlands, so I'll cut them some slack.

The real fun begins with celebrity voices for TomTom units. How'd you like to take marching orders from Mr. T? For a fee, fool, he'll tell you where to go. And so will the ever-charismatic Gary Busey, trippy Dennis Hopper, and the original Bandit, Burt Reynolds. For inexplicable reasons, baseball star pitcher Curt Schilling, better known for his World Series wins than his speaking voice (not that there's anything wrong with it) can also get you home. Navtones offers all these gentlemen and others as "premium voices" for $12.95 each. For Halloween, they've also added lower-priced, ghoulish choices recorded by a few not-quite-believable voice actors. (While we have listened to samples, we have not installed and tested downloaded voices.)

Customizing your portable navigation system
All this got us thinking, the possibilities are endless. Wouldn't it be fun to be able to choose from a wide array of voices, or even record your own? Why not have the reassuring voice of Walter Cronkite to guide you home? That might be nice when you're lost. Instead of telling you you'd arrived at your destination, Walt could wrap up the same way he ended his broadcast for years: "And that's the way it is."

Sean Connery would surely be a big seller, as would James Earl Jones. Fans of show tunes might go for Liza Minnelli belting out a few rights and lefts, while Marilyn Manson might be the musical guidance of choice for edgier motorists. Music could even be combined with directions. U2, for example, could keep you on course while singing, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for."  The voices could come from characters, like Homer Simpson, South Park's Cartman, or even Yoda.

On the other hand, people who are used to arguing while finding their way to a new place might prefer a nav system that offered up something like this when they missed a turn: "HEY, I SAID TO TURN RIGHT!"  Perhaps a voice-activated system could actually argue with these motorists when they traveled alone, just to keep them company.

We're just scratching the surface, but I think we've scratched it enough. TomTom and Navtones are starting out slowly with the roster of mostly falling Hollywood stars, but the possibilities are endless. Custom voices could be to portable nav what ring tones have become for cells phones. Or not.

We've had too much fun around the office coming up with our own wish lists. What voices would you like to download? Share your ideas in the Comments below.

--Jim Travers

Learn more about portable GPS navigation systems.