Ford puts the funk in my mobile office

Ford's shareholders and I may have something in common. I'm guessing they're not going to be any happier than I am to see the Expedition Funkmaster Flex Edition, if for different reasons.

Mine is this: Media days at auto shows can be exhausting, with countless hours spent on your feet and miles of walking from one press conference to the next. Work space is always tight at the media center, where reporters go to write stories, chat, and glom free cookies. 

Sometimes, you need an alternate place to pull out the laptop, make a few phone calls, or just sit and have a little quiet time. I have found that a great place to do this is in one of the hundreds of vehicles on display, preferably a big, comfy one that nobody else has any interest in. At recent shows, I have found the Ford Expedition fits the bill perfectly.

Ford had one such lonely Expedition tucked away in a corner of their stand at the Detroit show. With a spacious back seat, quiet interior, and privacy glass, it was the ideal place to go when I wanted to be left alone. It drew so little attention, I could have snoozed peacefully for days. 

Now, to my horror, Ford is trying to drum up renewed interest in its slow-selling, gas-guzzling SUV by rolling out the blinged Funkmaster Flex--a multi-colored, 20-inch wheeled, mercifully limited production Expedition.

I am not pleased. And with gas prices once again set to sail past three dollars a gallon with no end in sight, chances are Ford stockholders aren't, either. Evidently, the higher ups still haven't figured out that the glory days of easy profits from giant SUVs are over.

Why not put some resources into a higher-performance version of the notably uninteresting new Focus? Or, use the show to field a hybrid Focus concept car? How about testing the waters for an even smaller, thriftier model, based on the corporation's European offerings? If they must show a truck, why not explore the potential for a new Ranger pickup as an alternative to full-scale F-150?

Any of these potential show or production vehicles might make more sense than cranking out yet more brightly colored, thirsty trucks for a handful of poseurs with well-worn gas cards.

But what do I know? I just want my office back. And I suspect I'll get it back soon enough. 

--Jim Travers