Bob Dylan to voice GPS navigation systems?

The BBC reports that the original rolling stone Bob Dylan is thinking about joining the ranks of celebrities, near celebrities, persons with vaguely familiar names, and even cartoon characters like Homer Simpson who have all lent their voices to portable GPS navigation devices (PNDs).

While perhaps not as soothing as the voices packaged with most PNDs, having Bob mumble, rasp, and squawk about the next left would probably be no worse than, say, having Mr. T command you to "turn left, fool." And yes, that option already exists for TomTom users through the Navtones Web site. So do the directional instructions of Burt Reynolds, Kim Cattrall from Sex and the City, and even former Boston Red Sox ace pitcher Curt Schilling. Sadly, however John Cleese no longer appears to be available.
 
We're not sure we'll be revisiting highway 61 with Bob on board, and appealing as his voice providing guidance might be to fans, a quick look through the extensive Dylan catalog got us thinking: Why stop there? The prolific songwriter has written some titles whose names might make for interesting routing options, right along with avoiding toll roads or one-way streets.
 
How about " Beyond here lies nothin'"? That could certainly simplify travel plans. " Beyond the horizon" is a little more open-ended, probably best for idealists without a lot of pressing appointments.
 
" Down the highway," however, is probably an option best left out. Even the most directionally challenged motorists ought to be able to figure out how to simply stay on an interstate without a nav system.
 
Take a wrong turn and you might end up at " Maggie's Farm."
 
On the other hand, I've owned a vehicle or two that I might still be driving if only I could have opted for " Don't fall apart on me tonight."
 
" Goin' to Acapulco" might be a perfect cure for those midwinter blues, but "Dirt road blues" would probably best be avoided.
 
If your GPS offered " I was young when I left home," however, you might want to ask for your money back. Ditto for " You go your way and I'll go mine."
 
"Ninety miles an hour down a dead end street" would just be a bad choice, but arguably not as bad as " This wheel's on fire." Certainly, "License to kill" has them both beat. But " You Ain't Goin' Nowhere" sounds like car trouble, especially if is " Everything Is Broken."

But the option I'd really want to skip would be "Ain't talking." Lyrics include the line "Ain't talkin', just walkin. I'll burn that bridge before you can cross."  The last thing I need is a GPS navigator with an attitude. If I wanted that, Dennis Hopper might be a better choice. 

So let's hear it, Dylan fans. What options would you like to see from the songbook?

— Jim Travers

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